just to bring my thoughts together

should i say them?

but i don’t actually want to be honest

about how I think I could possibly be

f

a

ll

ing

without control

for someone I didn’t expect to

That maybe things could finally

be making no sense at all

and just chaos

and yet I still believe them

or what about how the

best thing in my life

the most valued treasure

I regret holding onto

I want to feel

my blood pulse through my veins

and decide when I wake up in the morning

I want to feel the air

twisting my insides in and out

and driving home my biggest

triumphs and digging deeper

into my worst nightmares

I want the courage

and the strength to

say “I need help”

“I want out”

“I think I could fall… in L-”

or that

“I know what I want but feel too small to do it”

But how?

in your wake

like wine

glistening in a glass cup

under the heat of the desert skies

with her relentless beauty

untamable until she reaches your hands.

she falls vulnerable

melting under the heat

seeping into every crevice of your

fingerprints teetering

between the security of your grasp

and falling between the cracks.

Yet you mull her around

as if she were the most precious wine

created for your lips.

deep inside mine

or maybe you slide mine

deep inside yours

but they glide nonetheless

like nothing I have ever seen

eloquent but messy

nervous yet sanguine

and full of a perception

where we endure

a new adventure

that has yet reveal it’s mysteries

meek but mighty

letting your beauty

encourage and entice

my every step

feeling your breath

swell inside of my

own lungs

sultry and waiting

for that smile that ignites

my body like a narcotic

in the stark moonlight

like thieves

stealing one kiss at a time

look over and smile

at me with those

dangerous eyes

and whisk me away

into the night

with your satiny voice

and delve into my

warmth with your arms around me tight

reach beyond the skies

and bring the moonlight

back into my eyes

and keep me safe

during these

still nights

in the stillness of

our peace

lean on me

as I lean back onto you

feel the pressure

of our pasts bring

us together

let us strive

rather than suffer

take my hand

my curious friend

on a journey towards

the ever after

like smoke lingering in the air

after a long drag

and desire her watery blues

like the ocean craves salt

dance in her waves

of brown hair exploring them

as if she were foreign territory

make her feel like a goddess

with your touch

dear shadow?

For even that part of you is fading too

Why do you never come around?

Your child calls for you

The monster that lurks under your skin

has defeated any good you have

touched

But your life could change love

if you just

woke up

but in a world of your own

I drift in and out like the tide

being pulled by the moon

as you toss me on the shore

then tug me closer

flailing into your murky beauty

so I can feel your waters

as the salt and sea encompass me